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Walls and Journeys

July 18, 2012

If I am totally honest I admit that the past year of my life has been the most difficult spiritually in my entire life.

If I am honest I admit I hit a wall. I didn’t recognize it as that, but it was a wall. I tried to deny that it was true. Tried to believe it had other root causes. If you must know I blamed others. If you had asked me I would have denied I felt that way but if I am being honest? If I am honest deep down I pointed the finger at others.

If I just come clean I admit I was living with the idea that my best years in ministry were behind me. That I was destined to play out the string like some washed up actor making guest apperances on Love Boat or Fantasy Island or better yet on Hollywood Squares. That I had my shot and that was it. I thought that because I didn’t recognize the wall. It looked like an ending because it was a wall I couldn’t bring down. I didn’t understand that I had come to a point where I had to deal with some stuff, well better said to allow God to work on some stuff within me.

If I am honest I felt like I had failed. How else could I look at it? That was before I was shown the wall. I have been reading The Critical Journey: Stages in the Life of Faith by Janet O. Hagberg and Robert A. Guelich. My good friend Bryan Jarvis recommended it and I would second the recommendation.

God’s timing is perfect. Not only is my journey not finished, I haven’t failed anything. The fact is I just wasn’t where I needed to be on the journey. The reality is I wasn’t going to get there where I was. The wall doesn’t signify the end, it signified a better beginning. A more productive one. A more God honoring one. Don’t get me wrong, I have to be careful not to slide back.

Clarity is a beautiful thing.

All of this has brought me to Job. No I haven’t been through any of what Job went through. My point is that God didn’t allow Job to be tested when he was new to the journey. He didn’t allow such testing after a few years walking with God. Read the first part of Job and know that Job is several stages into his journey. He allowed the testing because he was a man of faith who was strong and seasoned in his journey.

I don’t know where you are on your journey but I do know you should never give up. Question God? Go right ahead, you will not be the first. Suffer setbacks and failure? Hello, Job. Keep looking to move forward. If you look at the end of Job you will find someone who got through a wall. When Job replies to God in chapter 42 it is a response of a man who recognizes a wall and sees what must be done to move through it.

Then Job replied to the Lord:

2 “I know that you can do all things;
no purpose of yours can be thwarted.
3 You asked, ‘Who is this that obscures my plans without knowledge?’
Surely I spoke of things I did not understand,
things too wonderful for me to know.

4 “You said, ‘Listen now, and I will speak;
I will question you,
and you shall answer me.’
5 My ears had heard of you
but now my eyes have seen you.
6 Therefore I despise myself
and repent in dust and ashes.”

Job 42:1-6

I too have heard God. I see the wall for what it is. I will keep moving through.

God bless.

2 Comments leave one →
  1. July 18, 2012 9:09 pm

    great thoughts Darin. you are a blessing.

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